I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
