State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
