We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Boobs are out for the taking
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
