does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
