The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
