she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
