He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
