I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
