All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize