You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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