last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize