She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
