So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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