how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize