Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
