remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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