yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
This is my gift to your gina
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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