Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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