I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize