16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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