Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize