I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
