im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
