Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
