so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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