Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
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