I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
