He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
