Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
bring money and cleavage
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize