p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
