I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
