South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
