My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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