Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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