He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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