Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
