I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
