dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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