I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
In America we eat man semen.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
