is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
