Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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