Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
