is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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