dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
