you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
