I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
