You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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