What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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