so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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