I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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