Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
