so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize