entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
