Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
