Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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