I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
