I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
