Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
