____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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