half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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