I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
