The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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